……. before it breaks my heart.
Love is a funny thing. It’s something we all want and need. But it is also something we tend to run away from.
We’ve all seen others do it or have done it ourselves. Just when the love is being poured out on you, you want to run away from it. We start laying brick upon brick faster than The Flash himself! Then we stop. We hesitate, with the next brick still in hand. Isn’t this the love I’ve been waiting for and longing for?
Drop that brick! Stop resisting love. I’m not talking about desires and one night stands or even about the guy or girl that may not stick around. I’m talking about true love. Love that accepts us the way we are – baggage and all. Love that we pour out on someone – with their baggage and all. Sacrificial love.
Sacrificial love. It comes it many shapes and sizes. Currently mine is for the two little girls that I care for. The daughters of my youngest child. Is caring for them inconvenient – yes – not all the time. Is it hard physically – sometimes. Am I tired – yes. Could I be doing something else for myself and maybe even making money doing it – yes.
But that love. That look from their eyes into yours. It goes very deep into my heart. It is a love I have longed for and a love I have longed to give. That love they dish out on you even though you are way older. It’s a love that they feel secure in when mom and dad drop them off. They feel safe, they feel at home.
I’ve had thoughts lately of when the kids graduate from the university and find jobs, who knows where, and they will move and begin a new chapter. Where do I and my husband fit in? I’ve even thought of hardening my heart, laying brick after brick to my wall that is ever so tempting to build,,,,,, why? So I won’t get hurt when they say goodbye. So my heart does’t break in a million pieces when they don’t need me anymore.
Then, like the slowly rising of the sunlight on my window, I realize I can’t live without the love they give me and the love I have for them. So, we will do our best to follow them and care for them until…. until …. until they have to care for us – Hahahaha.
I’m saying this because the love I have for the grand girls, and for the grand boys we had to leave back east, is stronger and ever growing. I never want to build the wall of protection over my heart because, no matter how convincing we are in our heads, that heart wants the love. And with great love can come great hurt, BUT when we surrender to love it comes around to great love again. Love doesn’t go away. Love works to heal, to stand, to hold and to continue. Love never fails. Love is truth.
And, Dear Readers, love originated in God. His heart is so big and so loving and so merciful. He has taught me to lay down the bricks and let His love come to me. And that is how, and only how I can give true love to my self, my husband and my kids and their kids and to friends and strangers. And most of all the only way I can love my God.
Let Love in today and everyday.
Enjoy!
cate b
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